The results are in!

I had an appointment the other day with my therapist to go over the results of my test. It was really quite interesting, but at the same time, there wasn't much I didn't already know about myself. So yippie, it's been confirmed, I'm crazy! Now what?

Shall we get started? So, I go into my therapists office, take a seat on her comfy couch, and breathe a huge sigh of relief. It was relief that for the next hour, I was free of children, yee haw! Not really, it was both relief, that I was finally going to get this visit over with and thinking "I'm sooo exhausted from thinking of the many self-help exercises she's undoubtedly going to suggest I do!" She hands me a sheet of paper and I start to read it before she even says "go!" Then she starts trying to go over my results with me, and notices I look slightly confused. So she says, "I see you've noticed how it says valid test in the top paragraph. The reason for this, is that sometimes people try to 'trick' the test." So, I then ask "why would someone do that?" "Well, sometimes people want the test to reveal they are someone they want to be, or think we want them to be. Not who they really are. For example, I had one patient that wanted the test to say he was a womanizing alcoholic, which he most certainly was not," she says. Really? Womanizing alcoholic? Yeah, because that's the first thing I think of when I'm trying to decide what impression I want people to have of me! HUH? You've got to be kidding me! Who does that? Who would actually put that much thought into "tricking" a test you take for psychological evaluation? I'll tell you who, a PSYCHO, that's who! And I thought I was crazy, that fake womanizing alcoholic has major issues! So, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, my test. So, my therapist confirms that I am a very naive person, who doesn't realize that there actually are people out there that try to "cheat" tests. But in my opinion, they're just cheating themselves. Oh snap, did I just say that? I totally sound like one of those after-school specials. I'm such a loser! Okay, so by that remark alone, I'm sure you all realize one of my "issues!" They have a name for it, it's called pessimism, and I am the Queen of that country. No lie, it actually said that in the summary. "This patient is the Queen of pessimism." So, I roll my eyes and think to myself, "whatever, I'm soo positive!" Ask anyone, except my husband, or my kids, or my family for that matter. But if you ask people who knew me when I thought I was going to marry Joe McIntyre, they'd totally have my back! Okay, so maybe I can be a little negative, but is that really a problem? Well, when you think the only luck you have is the "bad" kind, then I guess therapists consider it a problem! Hey, we all have our crosses to bare, and this my friends, is one of mine. But, the test did however reveal that even though I'm a pretty negative and "gloomy" type, I'm not at all cynical! SCORE! At least there's that, so there you go! Oh also on my list of desirable attributes, I'm high-strung, extremely anxious, obsessive compulsive and I have very low self-esteem. Oh, this test is too kind. Really, it's making me look too fantastic, don't you think? I'm not an angry person, I'm not competitive and I'm very compassionate, but too submissive. Uh, so why did I take this test? I already knew all of this! I guess seeing it in writing gives it a little more validity, so maybe I'll be more motivated to "fix" my many imperfections. My anxiety level is sooo high though, that she said maybe I should start with something a little less overwhelming to focus on! Ha, ha ha! That totally added to my anxiety. In my head, I'm sitting there thinking, "oh my gravy, there is soo much to fix I can't possibly find a starting point, plus that's like 20 different self-help books I'm going to have to get, and when am I supposed to find the time to read them. Oh man, if I have another appointment with her before I move, she's going to want to see some improvement!" You see my problem. My mind just doesn't give up. I have to say, even though my anxiety level was high, my actual "fears" were really low! So all that freaking me out my sister used to do to me when I was little, actually helped me to be somewhat fearless. Thanks Veronica! Well, unless it has to do with bugs, then I scream like a girl. Which means screaming at such a high pitch, that glass actually shatters around me. Which works to my advantage if one of the shards of glass manages to kill the darn insect. Alrighty then, I think I've said enough for tonight. I'm sure there was much more to my session, but I'm so drained just telling you the first part. So, I ordered a book to help me with my anxiety and I'll get that hopefully by the end of the week. Then, once I start to read it, I'll let you all know my progress. Maybe! It may be too much for me, you never know! Well, I think Aidan and Avery are up to something, it's awfully quiet, so I'm off to check on them!